Live.Laugh.Love Makeup!

unemployed

it sucks.

why?

i stay up all night because i have nothing to do or no where to go in the a.m. sometimes it drives me crazy!!

sometimes its nice.

sometimes its sad.

i just cry, not all the time but its just those days where your like what the fuck? can i see my future can god please tell me his plan for me already. Because i’m tired.

I’m tired, of applying to all of these places and no call backs nothing. i called have they checked my resume, no. why not? they are in need of someone so look at my goddame resume.

Sometimes i really think its because of my name, because of my race. its sad but true. its sad cause i thought we were past all of this? right.

Other times its because of the way i talk, what the hell is wrong with the way i talk? because i have a mind of my own. because i’m short with you on the phone? how is someone short with someone on the phone?

i just dont get it.

my mom says i need to swallo my pride, but i cant. i really cant. i cant sit there and work for someone who doesn’t like me, or is telling me what to or that i do it wrong, and even when i say FUCKIN SHOW ME!

they dont, because thats when they let me go.

I’m sorry that i’m mexican.

I’m sorry i have a loud mouth.

I’m sorry that you think i always have an attitude.

I’m sorry that when i’m at work i dont like to chit chat and get introuble.

what else should i fucking be sorry for.

I’m sorry that you wont beable to work with a hard worker who never lets u down.

I’m sorry that my face bothers you. i guess i always look mad

I’m sorry that all you think i have is a pretty smile.

i’m sorry that you wont be able to work with me.

and i’m sorry that i have this life.

goodnight.

2 years.

So today Nov. 28,2009 is my boyfriend and I 2 year mark!

Its so crazy. its been a long year and a crazy one. We both turned 21, our living situation isn’t the best we dont have our own place like we used to but at least we have a room and were together.We still have our two crazy annoying dogs.

Yes i wish i had my old job and i wish he had a fulltime job, then we would be more happy in our house, we live  with my grandma its kinda nice, but i get the ugly looks from cousins cause i live here and dont have to pay much.

But i am happy with danny and i’m lucky to have him in my life, i may get mad at him sometimes and fight but we love each other so much, its kinds great.

Were open with each other and i love that we really are lovers and friends. I still remember the night he came back from a family trip and we were talking on the phone almost everyday while he was away, when he came back i picked him up from the airport, even tho 3 days before that black friday 2007 i got into a bad car accident and i hurt my knee/hip so bad i couldn’t walk and he was coming back tues and i have a concert monday night i was determined to go to that concert with my lil bro and to go pick up danny the next night, so yes walking on my knee or at least trying to was really hard and hurt so badly.

When i picked him up we went back to his house and dropped off his stuff then we when to quick trip but a far one on olive and 91st,(yes i do remember all of this :)) he got a soda i waited in the car it was cold outside, i looked really cute lol. after that we went back to his house where we just sat in the car and talked the whole night. The cops came and talked to us cause the neighbor called them on us cause we were just sitting in the car and parked the wrong way so we just moved the car and talked more and then took a nap once no one was in his house then went back to my house and hung out, and then i had to work that night and before we went back to my house when we were laying down on his bed he officially asked to bed my boyfriend it was so cheesy but great and i fell in love with the sweetest guy ever. and i’m happy still till this day.

I love you danny!

Sadness/homeless/bitchyness.

Okay so saturday night i came home from work to find people here at my house, now i know its not my house its my grandmas house, but right away i got mad, since my bf txt me a warning but i knew who they were the extended family(cousins) that i don’t like, oh yea and also one of them started living here too.

Anyway, so i pulled up and got pissed, the one that lives here was parked in my spot, the drive way and his other car was park on the street and the other ppls cars were parked in front of the house, so not only could i not park across the street i had to park down the street 2 houses down. Then i start walking up and everyone is giving me dirty looks and i’m like wtf, he lives here to give him dirty looks but no its eric everyone loves him. Then not only do they not say hi but he say’s “hey jesse how about you tell your man to pick up the dog shit, there’s shit everywhere in the backyard” so i repsond how anyone else would when coming home from a long work day with a, “fuck off, we will pick it up when we want, just cause you picked it up once since you been here you think your better then us.” then i slammed the door and said hello grandma.

so hopefully that set him straight cause he didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night, and everyone was trying to be nice to me, everyone but my mom.

so not only did danny not go and pick it up cause he was “busy” i went out there and cleaned it up, and there wasn’t shit every where my dogs poop in one place, so what a dumbass.

anyway, more people started coming over, with beer and meat, so i’m like fuck! now i can’t make dinner, its hot in this house, and all i wanted to do was make me and my bf dinner, but everyone took over the kitchen, i guess they where having a party for my grandma, but get this the whole night she was inside sitting in her couch and watching t.v. or trying to cause everyone was so loud, and being gettho and eating and drinking in the front yard. So i was pissed, and sad, and just everything was bothering me so i started to cry, and all i wanted to do was go home, i wanted my old room back. so i text my mom saying i really hate living here now i want to be home, and she said what do you want me to do about it. I was like wow that is not what i wanted to hear, so i said nevermind forget it. and that made me even more sad, so i just kept crying more, i just wanted everyone out i wanted a quite night, but that never happen so saturday all i had to eat was pringles. i gave the better food like chicken nuggets and $2bucks so he can get mcdoubles for his lunch.

so in the end, i couldn’t get much sleep and they trashed my grandmas house and its still trashed no one came and cleaned up and my grandma wont cause its not her mess no one asked her to come over. and i cant go back home cause i got a freakin family.

ugh. but tonight was an ok night, work went by fast then slow then fast. but thankgod for tomorrow off.

bye!

High.

So i guess i can say i’m pretty high right now, lol and its AMAZING! lol.

my best friend gave me pills and omg i wish i could take them everyday. like no joke i feel nothing, like i feel mellow and tired but like a really good tired, and i think they make me sleepy only cause i take them at night when i know i will go to bed soon. man i should try this during the day and see how i feel when i’m not tired. :)

Anyway earlier today i went to work, i so didn’t want to get up cause i had a bad dream and woke up at 6am and when i finally was getting sleep again i woke up and i only had ten more min to sleep, so i was like ugh! but anyway today i wore tennyshoes and omg my feet felt so good like i don’t know why but they did andway better then then my flats that i wear, so yea those are the shoes that i will wear, and wit mens inserts lol.

anyway i will write more tomorrow on how i felt when i got home today i already wrote it down just need to type cause it was something that was bothering me, but anyways i won’t be as sleepy tomorrow, so good night!

J.O.B

So i finaly got a job. I have to say the first check took a while to get but a good amount. I really hate my job. I have no idea why me feet hurt so much but they do and it sucks so much. I have had jobs before where i am on my feet all day but i don’t know what it is. No one knows how badly they hurt and they hurt even more the next moring. They hurt so much that every time i leave work i drive home and cry all they way until i get off the freeway, cause thats how bad they hurt and how badly i hate it there.

I mean the managers suck, and i heard them overtalking and they will only be there till july so its kinda like why did you start this, and its only because the main manager and this other manager want to run a store by themselfs, cause i guess they don’t like the asst manager jason, i mean i don’t like him either and everytime he see’s me he is always saying that i look bored or that i need to smile or that i’m to quite, and its like ok well for one this job sucks nothing to smile about and for another why do you want me to talk? you’ll just yell at me for talking like you do to everyone else, so just suck it stupid white guy.

But anyway people there suck i only talk to like 3 girls there and i hardly ever work with them and when i do try to talk to the other white girls they are just so stupid. so whatever i have been apply to office jobs, cause i think i’m good at office jobs lol. so yea i really hate my job. and the pay is not worth it i might as well work at in-and-out burger and make 9.50 an hour.

i miss my old job :( i call it i miss my old life :(.

Phoenix Fashion week Day 1!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

OMG!!

I still can’t believe that i was apart of phoenix fashion week!, for one cause they are trying to make phoenix the new L.A. cause l.a is broke and i don’t think they had fashion week this year :(.

But anyway i had so much fun tonight! call time was at 8pm so right away we got started of course we were all wearing black, and looking slim lol. so we had 16 models to do some of them were touch ups but it was still a whole bunch. So there was 4 of us MUA”S from Maxima, and other girls from doluce annd MAC, well i guess the show before us doluce and MAC did the makeup, the designers wanted everything nice and seetle not too heavy on the top pink cheeks and nude lips, well of course the MAC AND DOLUCE girls didn’t listen, they think they are all high and mighty, so they made the girls looks extreme! like over the top crazy makeup is was waayyy to heavy on the top i’m talking smokey eye heavy which was not what they wanted so when we started we knew what to put on them just how they wanted very light nutural colors with a lil bit of dark brown and it came out perfect! so when the other models came in we had to tone them down a bit. I had a very good time, after words we took our seats and had some grape vodlka and sprite it was very good. then we had a shot of some kind of vodlka, we didn’t know that the hell it was this guy cam and sat with us and gave us all one, and was like yeaaaa cheerss! so we said ok what the heck lol, it was a great night, but really packed.

There is another show friday night but i can’t make, but i will forsure be there saturday night!

and take lots more pictures.

Kyoto!

While trying to fall asleep last night i was craving sushi! and you would think that some places around here would have lunch specials, but they dont. So i asked hubby if he wanted to go to kyoto for lunch tomorrow since we had nothing planned and he said yes as long as i wake him up so i said ok cool!. I have been here before for lunch and omg its the best! sushi rolls are all under 5 bucks and some are even 2 dollars! you cant pass that up. The food is soo good, omg the salad yum-O! lol. they call them box lunch cause your plate comes shape as a box with your meat/chicken or sashumi or shrimp/fish, what ever you pick it comes with that plus rice and a salad and its filling! and all under 6 bucks! some are even 3.50. SO we got up in the am lunch there is from 11am-2pm and it gets packed so i wanted to be there a lil early. We got there at 12ish, and had yummy in our tummys lol. The place is on scottsdale and brown i think somewhere downtown lol.

so after the great lunch, we went to ross. I was hoping to find this chi hair product that i wanted they had everything eles but that, so boo. Hubby found some shorts that he has been wanting for a while and good thing cause there they were 10 bucks and at the regular store where they sell them they are $40 so good deal, so he got 2 pairs and i got 2 pairs of tights. Then i found cute dog clothes for my dwags before i have bought them clothes but then they got too small for them so lucky me they fit them and they were $2 bucks each another deal i love ross! lol

after that came home to a hot ass house! the a/c went out again! and it hasn’t done it for a couple of weeks but it did it again and it sucks cause our room gets sooo hot, so because it was hot i feel asleep, for some reason when it gets hot my eyelids get heavy and i pass out lol so i had a one hour nap!. Then i went to go chill with my mom at her cool air house lol.

Then we did other stuff and now finally home its 9:30p.m. and i’m listing to passion pit, and she and him. We might get subway later cause they don’t close till 1am i swear danny is trying to be jared and eat there everday ugh sick of it! but still good and we have coupons for buy one get one free so not bad :) well i’m done, i’ll find something to write about later!

peace suckkas!

3a.m.

Yes so it’s 3am and i am wide awake!

why? cause i can’t sleep, i guess its not because i can’t sleep more like i don’t want to. Only becasue i like to wake knowing that i am going to do something, cause then whats the point right? like thats how i feel, i would give anything to have my job back!, yes even tho i worked overnight, i still got home late so when i would wake up the same morning i know i have somewhere to be later on that day. Now its like uuuuggghhh whats the point, i’m just going to get online apply for jobs but never get calls back, its like really why can’t cant you just call to say you know what we went another way, thats fine by me JUST LET ME KNOW! I need AmBienCR! lol. Idk sometimes all i wanna do is sleep and other days, its blah, leave me aloone.

On the plus side i did get an interview with Ross, clothing store. the managers were very nice, white lol, but nice they seemed to like me, i know the lady liked my eye makeup she couldn’t believe how pretty it looked :) so school did work lol. But she said that they have to wait to get a background check, but that they are very interested, so if i don’t hear from her in 5 days not to worry that she will call me. So here is to hoping that she will call me and i get the job. The pay or hours aren’t much but hey! at least i will be out of this room/house!

Ok, well i might take another walmart Trip or just finish watching poker after dark, and try to sleep!.

Night all!